March 25, 2006 – Adar 25, 5766

Rabbi Joshua Hammerman, Temple Beth El, Stamford, Connecticut

Send your friends and relatives the gift of Jewish awareness -- a Shabbat-O-Gram each week, by signing them up at www.tbe.org. To be removed from this mailing list, sent e-mail request to office@tbe.org. If you have signed up and are not receiving our e-mails, check your spam filter to make sure that TBE is not being “spammed out.”

Contents of the Shabbat O Gram:

(Click to scroll down)

Just the Facts (service schedule)

The Rabid Rabbi

Mitzvah/Tzedakkah Opportunities

Ask the Rabbi

Spiritual Journey on the Web

Required Reading and Action Items (links to key articles on Israel and Jewish life)

Announcements (goings on in and around TBE)

Joke for the Week

Purim at TBE

photos are at www.tbe.org

At our website you’ll also find my complete Passover “Guide for the Perplexed” and a downloadable Sale of Hametz form

Quote for the Week

“A religious man is a person who holds God and man in one thought at one time, at all times,

who suffers harm done to others, whose greatest passion is compassion,

whose greatest strength is love and defiance of despair.”

Abraham Joshua Heschel

JUST THE FACTS

If you have yet to RSVP for Dan’s Bar Mitzvah on 4/22,

please do so at http://www.tbe.org/dansbarmitzvah/index.htm

We want to be sure to get accurate numbers to the caterer.

Thanks

The Hammermans

Don’t forget the Book Fair this Sunday!!!! Details below

Friday Evening

Candle lighting Candle lighting: 5:52pm on Friday, 24 March 2006 - Havdalah is at 6:52 on Saturday evening. For candle lighting times, other Jewish calendar information, and to download a Jewish calendar to your PDA, click on http://www.hebcal.com/. To see the festivals of other faiths as well, go to http://www.interfaithcalendar.org/

Alef class (third grade) dinner, service and siddur presentation: 5:45 PM

Kabbalat Shabbat: 6:30 PM – in the sanctuary

Tot Shabbat: 6:45 – in the chapel - We are happy to announce that Tot Shabbat will be hosted this week by Gail G. Trell in celebration of her birthday and those of her grandchildren, Max and Hailey.

Shabbat Morning: 9:30 AM – Mazal tov to Matthew Zielinski and Jeffrey Rich, who will become b’nai mitzvah this Shabbat morning! Because it is a “double,” we expect lots of people, so plan to be here early. Extra parking at Westhill High School and shuttle transportation will be available.

Children’s services: 10:30

Torah Portion: Vayakhel-Pekuday: Shabbat ha-Hodesh - Exodus 35:1 - 40:38

1: 37:17-24
2: 37:25-29
3: 38:1-8
4: 38:9-20
5: 38:21-39:1
6: 39:2-7
7: 39:8-21

Shabbat HaChodesh
maf: Exodus 12:1-20

Haftarah – Shabbat Ha- Hodesh: I Kings 7:51 - 8:21

See a weekly commentary from the UJC Rabbinic Cabinet, at www.ujc.org/mekorchaim. Read the Masorti commentary at http://www.masorti.org/mason/torah/index.asp. University of Judaism, JTS commentary is at: http://learn.jtsa.edu/topics/parashah/. USCJ Torah Sparks can be found at http://uscj.org/item20_467.html. UAHC Shabbat Table Talk discussions are at http://uahc.org/torah/exodus.shtml. Other divrei Torah via the Torahnet home page: http://uahcweb.org/torahnet/. Test your Parasha I.Q.: http://www.ou.org/jewishiq/parsha/default.htm. CLAL’s Torah commentary archive: http://click.topica.com/maaaiRtaaRvQhbV2AtLb/. World Zionist Organization Education page, including Nehama Liebowitz archives of parsha commentaries: http://www.moreshet.net/web/index.asp?f=1 For a more Kabbalistic/Zionist/Orthodox perspective from Rav Kook, first Chief Rabbi of Israel, go to http://www.geocities.com/m_yericho/ravkook/index.html. For some probing questions and meditations on key verses of the portion, with a liberal kabbalistic bent, go to http://www.jewishealing.com/learning.html or, for Kabbalistic commentaries from the Zohar itself, go to http://www.kabbalah.com/k/index.php/p=zohar/weekly/intro. To see the weekly commentary from Hillel, geared to college students and others, go to http://www.hillel.org/hillel/NewHille.nsf/FCB8259CA861AE57852567D30043BA26/DF7D129F15B3DF0885256AB80058E9C3?OpenDocument. For a Jewish Renewal and feminist approach go to http://rabbishefagold.hypermart.net/Torah1.html . For a comprehensive Orthodox viewpoint from the Israeli rabbi, Yaakov Fogelman, go to the Torah Outreach Program at http://israelvisit.co.il/top/previous.shtml. Guided meditations for each portion by Judith Abrams at http://www.maqom.com/kavannah.pdf For online Parsha quizzes from Pardes in Israel, go to http://www.pardes.org.il/online_learning/parsha_quizzes/ Torah for Kids: http://www.torah4kids.net/ Weekly Lesson of Popular Israeli Rabbi Mordechai Elon: http://www.elon.org/archives/archives.htm - and his parsha sheets: http://www.mibereshit.org/special/download_eng_pdf.htm From Bar Ilan University: http://www.biu.ac.il/JH/Parasha/eng/; http://www.torahproductions.com/weekly_article.jsp

Mincha – Ma’ariv – Havdalah: 5:30PM – Mazal Tov to Alexandra Smith, who will become Bat Mitzvah this Shabbat afternoon!

THE ENTIRE HEBREW BIBLE (AS WELL AS OTHER JEWISH SOURCES) CAN BE FOUND WITH SIDE-BY-SIDE TRANSLATION AT

http://www.mechon-mamre.org/

Morning Minyan: Weekdays at 7:30, Sundays at 9:30 AM

TO ENSURE A “GUARANTEED MINYAN” FOR THE DAY OF YOUR YAHRZEIT – GO TO THE ROSNER MINYAN MAKER AT WWW.TBE.ORG AND ALSO CONTACT ME AT RABBI@TBE.ORG.

A GUARANTEED MINYAN HAS BEEN REQUESTED FOR NEXT TUESDAY, MARCH 28, FOR A YAHRZEIT. PLEASE GO TO THE ROSNER MINYAN MAKER TO INDICATE IF YOU CAN COME!!

The Parent’s Blessing

My article from this week’s Jewish Week can be found online at http://www.thejewishweek.com/top/editletcontent.php3?artid=4923

This morning my son Dan came to breakfast with a subtle rasp in his otherwise crisp, cherubic voice. Normally that would not be a big deal, but with his bar mitzvah just weeks away, every minuscule vocal deviation becomes a major concern.

The human body virtually reinvents itself every day, replacing billions of dead cells, especially on the skin. But a voice change, like the bar mitzvah itself, is among those landmark events that register most profoundly on the parental Richter scale. These past few months, similar no-turning-back events have been occurring in my household with alarming frequency. Dan got braces a couple of months ago, I got stronger glasses and, not long after that, I gave my other son, Ethan, 15, his first shave.

I’ve always believed in hands-on parenting – 13 years ago, I performed Dan’s brit – and as I navigated my Norelco tripleheader down Ethan’s chin and across his stretched neck, gingerly sidestepping the Adam’s apple and juking the jugular, I noticed some real similarities between the two cuttings. Sometimes the blade is necessary but no parent wants to apply a blade to any child, anywhere, at any time. Aside from not wanting to cause pain, I shuddered at being a participant in such a miraculous molting, peeling away at the layers of the boy only to reveal the man. The blade only tickled Ethan – I was the one feeling diced.

I shaved him knowing that the alternative would be to let him do it himself, something I had tried on my own teen face nearly a lifetime ago, leaving it looking like the West Side highway after a late winter thaw, littered with scrapes and potholes. So I sheared him, and since then have done it twice more, awed each time not only at my holding over him the power of life and death, but that with each stroke I was midwifing his rebirth into adulthood – and my own into obsolescence.

It is petrifying to be a parent, so much so, in fact, that since the Middle Ages Jewish parents of a bar mitzvah have recited the oddest of blessings. It reads: “Praised is God, who has relieved me of guilt for whatever becomes of this child.” Historians trace this Baruch Shep’tarani blessing back to the biblical story of Jacob and Esau, brothers whose post-adolescent lives took dramatically different tracks. Although Rebecca and Isaac were hardly exemplary parents, the blessing validates their unavoidable helplessness in opposing Esau’s wayward ways. In instituting this prayer, the rabbis were implying that there comes a point where parents simply have to let go.

I’m having a lot of trouble doing that.

I live with the dread every day, aware that each letting-go is a dress rehearsal for the ultimate Letting-Go. I know that when I die, my children’s first act will be to consummate that separation with the ritual cutting of clothing, every bit as painful as the brit milah and shaved chin, and every bit as necessary for further growth.

Everything happening now is leading up to our being left in the dust. First they crawl, then walk, then ride a bike, then drive a car. The speed increases with each new step, all the while nature is taking its entropic toll on the parent huffing and puffing behind, falling away like the spent first stage of a Saturn 5. With each passing milestone, my ability decreases to ensure their survival – and my own.

I remember exactly when Ethan’s math homework became too tough for me and my embarrassment at discovering that what used to be considered R-rated is now being packaged as PG-13. “Meet the Fockers” was an education for all of us. But still I hold on for as long as I can, for as long as they will let me.

As a rabbi who has served the same community for nearly a generation, I feel like I’ve said “Baruch Shep’tarani” hundreds of times, as week after week “my” children have paraded across the pulpit and out into the world, slipping beyond my grasp into adulthood. There is no “Baruch Shep’tarani” for clergy, however, or for God. Only parents can love children enough to let them go.

Ethan may unwittingly have been speaking for all my other students when, at his bar mitzvah two years ago, he got up before a packed congregation and said, “I’d like to thank the rabbi ... he’s been like a father to me.” I may have shaved only him, but as the kids come and go, I feel like I’ve been shearing the entire flock. I cut – they run.

This next letting-go will be the toughest. Just after Passover, I will stand at the Torah and watch Dan ascend, my baby in his fresh-cut suit, looking and sounding like a burgeoning man, with the deepening voice, the braces and the first hint of adolescent blemish on his smooth, dimpled face, I’ll whisper a measured “Baruch Shep’tarani,” clear my throat and, in a raspy, broken undertone, let him know how proud I am.

And another layer of my adult skin will slide away. Only part of me will survive this ordeal – the part that has learned how to hug with one arm and let go with the other.

Rabbi Joshua Hammerman is spiritual leader of Temple Beth-El in Stamford, Conn.

The Israeli Elections…

The Israeli elections are just a few days away, next Tuesday, March 28. While Israeli politics can always be fascinating, this year takes the cake: the party in the lead didn’t even exist a year ago and its leader remains in a coma. Whatever happens, the landscape of Israeli politics is about to change as dramatically as the landscape of Palestinian politics changes several weeks ago.

A nice guide with charts can be found online at http://btvshalom.org/resources/guide_to_perplexed.pdf. Other resources for up-to-the-minute information from the Israeli media:

Jerusalem Online will provide live coverage in English from Israel’s Channel 2 on Tuesday afternoon (evening in Israel, after the polls have closed). Go to the site at http://www.jerusalemonline.com/elections.html to subscribe (free) in advance for an e-mail code allowing you to get that coverage.

Ynetnews
The English language online version of Israel’s popular Yedioth Ahronoth newspaper, Ynetnews offers comprehensive coverage of the election including news, what each party stands for and reader feedback to comment. Well designed and easy to find what you are looking for.

Jerusalem Post
This English language newspaper offers a section on its website devoted to the election with a focus on news and analysis. Not as neatly designed as the Ynetnews coverage, so needs some time to find what you are looking for. But does offer some additional information on parties that some other sites do not cover.

Haaretz
Another Israeli-based site in English offering the usual mix of news, parties and candidates. A simple guide to the election which doesn't look as comprehensive as that being offered by Jerusalem Post or Ynetnews.  Haaretz site seems to have left out some of the parties standing for election including Green.

If you are looking to get the election results direct from Israel, then the online Israeli media should offer the best coverage of the day. But there are some downsides to the current coverage. One annoying common feature all the above have is that they don't provide any direct links to each party after you read about them. What would have been useful is seeing a link to the party that is written about.

Official Knesset site
But while the media sites may not offer the links to the party sites, Israel's own Knesset website offers links, though to not all parties.  Its site can be found here.

Also there’s Isracast, at http://www.isracast.com/index.asp - this new source of Israeli news puts current events into historical perspective. It’s a very good portal to other sites as well.

Fact Sheet: Israeli Elections

National elections to the Knesset, Israel ’s parliament, are held once every four years, unless circumstances call for early elections. This year, the election will be held on March 28.

Election day is a holiday.

Every Israeli citizen aged 18 or older has the right to vote. The number of eligible voters for the 2006 elections is 5,014,622. On average, in 17 national elections, turnout has averaged 79%.

Israeli law does not provide for absentee ballots, and voting takes place only on Israeli soil. The sole exceptions are Israeli citizens serving on Israeli ships and in Israeli embassies and consulates abroad.

Voters cast one ballot for a political party to represent them in the Knesset. The 120 Knesset seats are assigned in proportion to each party’s percentage of the total national vote. However, the minimum required for a party to win a Knesset seat is 2% of the total votes cast.

Knesset elections are based on a vote for a party rather than for individuals. In the 2003 election, 29 candidates participated. The three major parties in this election are Kadima, Labor and Likud.

According to the Basic Law: The Knesset, the Central Elections Committee may prevent a candidates’ list from participating in elections if its objectives or actions, expressly or by implication, include one of the following:

• negation of the existence of the State of Israel as the state of the Jewish people;
• negation of the democratic character of the State;
• incitement to racism.

Every citizen aged 21 or older is eligible for election to the Knesset, provided they have no criminal record, do not hold an official position (the president, state comptroller, judges and senior public officials, as well as the chief-of-staff and high-ranking military officers, may not stand for election to the Knesset unless they have resigned their position at least 100 days before the elections), and the court has not specifically restricted this right (for example, in the rare case of a person convicted of treason).

Prior to the elections, each party presents its platform, and the list of candidates for the Knesset, in order of precedence. The parties select their candidates for the Knesset in primaries or by other procedures.

Knesset seats are assigned in proportion to each party’s percentage of the total national vote. If a certain party received sufficient votes for 10 seats, for example, the first 10 candidates on its list will enter the Knesset.

According to the Party Financing Law, a treasury allocation for election campaigns is granted to each faction at the rate of one pre-defined “financing unit” per seat won in the previous Knesset elections plus one unit per mandate won in the current Knesset elections, divided by two, plus one additional financing unit. New factions receive a similar allocation, retroactively, based on the number of seats won in the elections.

Since a government requires the Knesset's confidence to function, it must have a supporting coalition of at least 61 of the 120 Knesset members. To date, no party has received enough Knesset seats to be able to form a government by itself; thus all Israeli governments have been based on coalitions of several parties, with those remaining outside the government making up the opposition.

The Knesset member to whom the task is assigned has a period of 28 days to form a government. The President may extend the term by an additional period of time, not exceeding 14 days.

When a government has been formed, the designated prime minister presents it to the Knesset within 45 days of publication of election results in the official gazette. At this time, he announces its composition, the basic guideline of its policy, and the distribution of functions among its ministers. The prime minister then asks the Knesset for an expression of confidence. The government is installed when the Knesset has expressed confidence in it by a majority of 61 Knesset members, and the ministers thereupon assume office.

Read all Fact Sheets

Dr. Bard is available for media interviews and speaking engagements on this and other topics.

You can help AICE continue this work by becoming a sponsor of the Jewish Virtual Library. Click here for more information.

And now, Jan Gaines’ take…

Dear Josh,  Here's what I see with 9 days to go until the election.

1. Kadima is still way ahead, hovering between 40 and 35 seats. They have no clear platform or message, and each of the leaders seems to have his/her own agenda and message. This is confusing for the voters, who don't like Olmert but who are going to vote Kadima either because they want one strong party, or because it is the least of the worst. Neither of which is a very good reason but because of this proportional representation system it is what they fall back on.

2.  Both Labor and Likud are fighting to just hang on to a minimum of 20 seats. No one is listening. Pols speculate that both leaders will be thrown out after the election. Silvan Shalom is making quiet and nice because he hopes Bibi falls on his face and then Shalom can take over Likud (backed of course by the biggest paper in Israel  which is the family of his pushy wife, Judy .)

3. The big debate now is who will make up the coalition which needs 61-62 seats to govern. The parties on the right- - -Israel Beitenu/Avigdor Lieberman,  NRP/National Union, and Shas  are all expected to get about 9 or 10 seats.  That would make an easy coalition with Kadima but would upset the liberals in the country.  However, both Labor (Peretz and Likud/Bibi) say they won't join Kadima under any circumstances. Of course if they are both thrown out it would be another story.

4. The saddest sight to see and hear are those thousands of disgusted and indifferent voters who aren't going to vote at all.  My friend Ida Nudel is one of them.  She claims she has hundreds of Russian friends who will boycott the polls "to send a message".  What these Russians don't realize is that this message never works, but they don't understand the nuances of the Western political system so are standing on their principles.

5. There are 31 parties running.  After the big 3 and the little 3, there are 25, ranging from the Greens  to Greenleafs (legalizing marijuana) to Ethiopians, Pensioners, Divorced Husbands Rights, and so on.  I am supporting one of these small parties because the candidate is an outstanding army man- - name of Uzi Dayan- -who is absolutely incorruptible, has been the national security advisor to 3 prime ministers, founder of the Kinneret Declaration, and  is a person universally liked and trusted by people across the board according to the polls. I see his problem every day- - People say he's absolutely the most impressive candidate but he can't win and they aren't going to waste a vote.  I can see that argument in the U.S. but here what you need is only 2% of the vote cast to gain a seat.  I counter by asking these people would they prefer voting for someone they don't like or trust just because its a bigger party- - - and they say yes. They won't vote principles or conviction.  Only pragmatism.  As they say, "we're used to the bad guys in the Knesset- - -they are all corrupted".

6.  I find a very discouraged mood in the country, especially since we are facing the Hamas challenge  With the ascent of that party, many people are re-thinking the advisability of unilateral disengagement and the whole idea of the road map with 2 "independent" states. There is alot to be said for this re-evaluation.  Since withdrawal from Gaza, which we had to do, has only brought Kassams dangerously close to Ashkelon,  why should we give up any land to terrorists who will only get closer to our main cities?   This debate will be playing out in the next months. Unfortunately Israel and the U.S. talk tough but how long can they hold the line against the Europeans, the Russians and the Chinese, who will all cave in. We are not proactive in our foreign policy but can only be reactive to whatever the PA does, and that hurts us.

7.But don't let me leave you with a grim picture. The country is gorgeous, safe and filling up with tourists as I speak. On my morning walk we saw 5 tour buses from Holland, Germany, the U.S. and one of Jewish Russians from the States coming to visit relatives.  So come on over and enjoy this beautiful and exciting place.  Our security is better than ever, and this year has been the safest ever.   L" Hitraot.    Jan Gaines

The Conservative Movement and Homosexuality: the Latest

If you’ve been following the recent news on the Law Committee (for background, see March 11^th Shabbatogram at http://www.tbe.org/site/sog/060311.htm), you know that a key issue for the Law Committee is whether a new policy adopted regarding homosexuality would be regarded as a mere “teshuvah” (an interpretation of Jewish law), or a “takkanah,” (the overturning of a Torah law). In the CJLS (Committee for Law and Jewish Standads), of the twenty five voting members, only six votes on a given “teshuvah” are needed for it to become a valid position within the movement, even if it contradicts another valid opinion, and even if it receives many votes fewer than a majority. But for a “takkanah,” the threshold is much higher. That threshold in fact had been raised, very quietly, last year.