November 16 and 23, 2007-
Kislev 6 and 13, 5768
For an
amazing autumnal experience, click on this photo recently taken at
(right around the corner from TBE) by congregant Michael
Swartz
Click
and drag to view
http://www.meshfolk.com/video/waterfall2007.html
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Contents
of the Shabbat O Gram:
(Click
to scroll down)
Just
the Facts (service schedule)
The (Occasionally) Ranting Rabbi
Mitzvah/Tzedakkah Opportunities
The Beth El Bar/Bat
Mitzvah Commentary
Required Reading and Action Items (links
to key articles on Israel and Jewish life)
After last week’s amazing
Shabbat, what can we do for an encore????
SYNAPLEX RETURNS Nov. 30 –
Dec. 1!!!!
For a sneak preview, click
on
http://www.tbe.org/site/docs/temp/2007_Dec_Synaplex_Announcement.pdf
Quotes for the Week
Inspirational thoughts in
Honor of Thanksgiving…
…the first from a sermon
recently delivered by an old friend who was recently diagnosed with a form of
ALS.
Read the entire sermon at
http://www.spiritofnewcanaan.org/index.php?topic=sermons
“Joe Dimaggio, the greatest
ballplayer ever, suffered through every game with a terribly painful bone spur.
When asked why he played so hard every game, he answered, “Because there might
be someone out there who never saw me play before!” …As I think more about it
these days, life is at best unpredictable. None of us know
how we will live or long we will live. When you think about it, we all have a
“fatal disease” --- We call it LIFE!
Death is good because it puts a limit on the number of days we have to
accomplish our goals. If we were given an infinite
amount of time in this world, most of us would never be driven to attain
anything. We would always feel that we have so much more time to complete our
tasks. Knowing that our days are numbered, we are motivated to strive for
greatness. That’s why Joe Dimaggio played so hard. Because there might be
someone in the stands that night who never before saw
him play.”
~ Rev. Gary Wilburn, Senior Pastor,
First Presbyterian Church,
And the second,
sent by another friend, Rabbi Jack Bloom…
A Thanksgiving Proclamation for our beautiful State…
By His Excellency Wilbur L. Cross, Governor: a
PROCLAMATION
"Time out of mind at this turn of the
seasons when the hardy oak leaves rustle in the wind and the frost gives a tang
to the air and the dusk falls early and the friendly evenings lengthen under
the heel of Orion, it has seemed good to our people to join together in
praising the Creator and Preserver, who has brought us by a way that we did not
know to the end of another year.
In observance of this custom, I appoint Thursday, the twenty-second of
November, as a day of
PUBLIC THANKSGIVING
for
the blessings that have been our common lot and have placed our beloved State
with the favored regions of earth for all the creature comforts:
the yield of the soil that has fed us and the richer yield from the labor of
every kind that has sustained our lives and for all those things, as dear as
breath to the body, that quicken man's faith in his manhood, that nourish and
strengthen his spirit to do the great work still before him: for the brotherly
word and act; for honor held above price; for steadfast courage and zeal in the
long, long search after truth; for liberty and for justice freely granted by
each to his fellow and so as freely enjoyed; and for the crowning glory and
mercy of peace upon our land;--that we may humbly take heart of these blessings
as we gather once again with solemn and festive rites to keep our Harvest
Home."
Candle lighting: 4:18 pm on Friday, November 16, 2007. For Havdalah times, other Jewish
calendar information, and to download a Jewish calendar to your PDA, click on http://www.hebcal.com/. To see the festivals of other faiths as well,
go to http://www.interfaithcalendar.org/. The United Synagogue has updated its
candlelighting information. To learn more, click here.
MAZAL TOV TO SHIRA DURICA, DAUGHTER OF JON AND WENDY
DURICA,
AS SHE BECOMES
BAT MITZVAH THIS SHABBAT AFTERNOON and JILLIAN KATZ, DAUGHTER OF DANIEL AND
LAURA KATZ NEXT SHABBAT AFTERNOON.
ALSO MAZAL TOV TO RACHEL MARKAN AND DAVID SCHERBAN,
SON OF JACK AND ANDREA SCHERBAN, WHOSE UFRUF WILL BE CELEBRATED THIS SHABBAT
MORNING.
THE FULL SERVICE SCHEDULE NOW APPEARS ON THE
SEPARATE TBE ANNOUNCEMENTS E-MAIL
Shabbat Services: 6:30 Friday night – Tot
Shabbat at 6:45PM,
9:30 Shabbat morning, 10:30 children’s services
Shabbat Mincha at 4:30 this week,. 4:00PM next week
Morning Minyan:
7:30 Weekdays (9 AM on Thursday and Friday of Thanksgiving week), 9:30
Sundays
TO ENSURE A “GUARANTEED MINYAN” FOR THE DAY OF
YOUR YAHRZEIT – GO TO THE ROSNER MINYAN MAKER AT WWW.TBE.ORG
AND THEN NOTIFY OUR OFFICE.
Torah
Reading For Shabbat Morning
Parashat Vayetze
Genesis 28:10 - 32:3
1: 28:10-12
2: 28:13-17
3: 28:18-22
4: 29:1-8
5: 29:9-17
6: 29:18-33
7: 29:34-30:13
maf: 30:9-13
Haftarah
for Ashkenazim: Hosea
12:13 - 14:10
The
(occasionally)
A God of Love
My column in this week’s New York Jewish Week,
reflecting ideas shared in my Yom Kippur sermon. See the column at http://www.thejewishweek.com/viewArticle/c55_a994/Editorial__Opinion/Opinion.html.
For far
too long, the God of the Jews has been stereotyped as a vengeful, inflexible
deity, inflicting punishments to the zillionth generation and ever fond of
chucking fire and brimstone on sinning cities. No doubt
there are lots of stories in the Bible where God acts in that way. But there are many others that are quite different. The
next time you are restless at services, count how many times the word “love”
appears in the siddur. If you throw in “joy,” “light,”
“kindness,”“salvation” and “hope,” you’ll find that we’ve come quite a distance
from the so-called “Old Testament God.”
I believe in a God of
love.
For me it could be no
other way. Maybe it’s because I’m a middle child – or that I was born on
Valentine’s Day.
Or perhaps it has to do
with a man who died many years before I was born.
Several years back I was
riding in a hearse on my way to a burial, traversing Old Montefiore Cemetery in
Queens and its densely packed, soaring monuments — a mini Manhattan for the
dead. The hearse turned a corner, and there, in the front row, staring me
down, was my name – more accurately the name of the person for whom I was named – chiseled in eternity. I had never seen my
great-grandfather’s grave before. Talk about your life flashing before
your eyes – at that moment I felt a rush of recognition, as if a past life were
flashing before me. So I decided to learn more about him.
Joshua J. Kastan, a
saintly and strictly observant Chasid, fell in love with a woman named Mollie;
but family lore has it that when they were about to be married, Mollie refused
to shave her head. One can only imagine the hubbub provoked by this breach of
traditional practice. Yet Joshua stood by her and they were married, hair and
all. He continued to love her through years of barrenness and he resisted
the advice to leave her. Finally, miraculously, they had a daughter, my
grandmother, Rebecca. To add one more romantic twist, Joshua and Mollie
died on the same date (three years apart), Aug. 19.
Rebecca married Samuel
Hammerman and they had seven children, one dying very young. Their home was filled with music and laughter, even as they scraped by
on Samuel’s meager income as a tailor.
Fully a quarter of their
16 grandchildren were named for Joshua Kastan,
including my older cousin Jeff.
Jeff, an aspiring actor
and poet, was serious, soft-spoken, strikingly handsome, and gay. When I came
to
In late 1993, Jeff, who
hadn’t set foot in a synagogue since his bar mitzvah, shared his story from my
pulpit. It was the kind of sermon our great-grandfather would
have admired.
He said, “The God that I learned about in my home was a God of love,
understanding, mercy and reason. That God has given me real strength...His love
for us is not measured by the absence of hardships.
His love for us is the life he’s given us.”
Six years later, when I
last saw Jeff in hospice, curled up in a fetal position and barely breathing, I
understood that no God of mine could have afflicted him so mercilessly. Rather,
I sensed the sanctity in every heroic gasp of air, in each moment of survival.
I reached back for every bit of godliness I could summon and held his hand.
What I had grasped before
intellectually now was imprinted on every fiber of my
being: This is horrible. This is desperately unfair. But this is no punishment.
This is not what God wants. What God wants is for us to love all
the more.
At Jeff’s funeral, I read
an excerpt from a poem Jeff had written decades earlier, when he was a
teenager, called “Valentine to Man”:
“I listened to the music –
And it sounded so sweet that I shouted
up to heaven: “Let me love.”
And God spoke to me and He said...
“You do love.
AND YOU KNOW ME.”
I shudder when I imagine
the internal struggles that caused Jeff to write this poem. This past year,
Conservative synagogues have also been struggling internally, having to make
choices regarding inclusiveness and sexual orientation. I’ve reflected
often on the life lessons that my great-grandfather and cousin taught me.
For years I, like so many, had equivocated on this
issue. But no longer.
Some come out of the closet. Others come off the fence.
Either one is a leap of
faith, an act of great courage. It is also an act of teshuvah — for it is a
return to one’s deepest, rock-solid beliefs, to the person one was all along.
Just after Passover, I brought my teenage son Dan to Old Montefiore for a
family history project, and when we looked closely at my great-grandfather’s
stone, I noticed something I’d never seen before – something that shook me to the
core. The Hebrew date of Joshua’s passing was the 15th of the month of Av —
also known as Tu b’Av.
Some call it the Jewish
Valentine’s Day.
There are 32 words in the
Torah’s “Thirteen Attributes of Divine Mercy,” precisely the numerical
equivalent of the Hebrew word “lev,” which means heart.
The God of Love — the Jewish God — has a human heart.
Joshua
J. Hammerman is rabbi of Temple Beth El in Stamford, Conn., and a CLAL
associate.
Urban Legends: Did the British Remove the Holocaust from their
School Curricula?
I received an e-mail from Barbara Jacobs,
asking whether the following is true or an urban legend:
In
MEMORIAM
This week the
This e-mail is being sent as a memorial chain, in
memory of the six million Jews, 20 million Russians, 10 million Christians and
1,900 Catholic priests who were murdered, massacred, raped, burned, starved and
humiliated with the German and Russian peoples looking the other way!
Now more than ever, with
This e-mail is intended to reach 40 million people
worldwide!
Join us and be a link in the memorial c hain and help us
distribute it around the world. Please send this e-mail
to 10 people you know and ask them to continue the memorial chain.
Please don't just delete it. It will only take you a minute to pass this along
- Thanks!
Here's the latest on that: http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/holocaust.asp. I had heard about this a while ago but didn’t
realize that it is still making the rounds.
As you can see, there is a small kernel of truth to it – but very
little. It is always important to see
the whole picture.
This Just In…
“Keeping
Kids Healthy”
Nationally Syndicated show to include
“Learning and Latte” Crew!
Tune into channel Thirteen/WNET on Friday,
December 14, at 2:30 pm, and repeated on Saturday morning, December 15, at 6:30
am (that's what Tivos are for...). It's
the second half of a 2-subject show:
Premature Babies: Good Things Come in Small Packages /
Circumcision: Is It Right for Your
Child?
The program features participants in the
“Learning and Latte” monthly dialogue:
Here’s the official promotional summary.
"When you give birth to a son, in most
cases -- depending on your religion – there’s an immediate decision that you
have to make: to circumcise, or not to
circumcise. It’s a choice that’s left up
to the parent, but that freedom can be a mixed blessing, because there just
aren’t that many clear guidelines from the medical community about what you
should do, and a lot of people don’t feel very comfortable pressing their
doctors for the answers! So in this
program, we’re going to help you with that tough decision, by bringing together
in one place the medical advice and information that will help you decide
what’s best for your child. You’ll meet
parents who’ve decided for and against it, you’ll see a discreet demonstration
of how the procedure is done, and you’ll find out what the experts, religious
communities and leading health organizations have to say about the pros and
cons of each approach for your child."
The “Keeping Kids Healthy” series is produced by
Mitzvah/Tzedakkah
Opportunties
Beth El Cares:
Inreach and
Outreach
Christmas Eve
Dinner:
Our next “official” mitzvah project is the annual
preparing of food and serving Christmas Eve Dinner at St. Lukes and Pacific
House. Volunteers are
needed to contribute food, pick up flowers/food, transport food to the
shelters and serve dinner. Save the date
(Mon. Dec. 24). Please let me know if
you would like to coordinate this project “before” it happens;
Cheryl Wolff and Liz Vaisben will be the “house captains” for the actual
dinners.
Toiletry
Collection:
The third grade religious school class will be
collecting toiletry items to give to the guests at St. Lukes and Pacific House
on Christmas Eve. These toiletry items
are the only holiday gift some of these individuals receive. Clean out your
hotel amenity stash and your samples or buy full size items to donate. Watch for details in December telling you
where to drop off the items.
An Easy
Tzedakkah idea for Thanksgiving
Donate your
free turkey!
My thanks to Lori
Ratner for sending this suggestion:
Dear Rabbi,
Today, while grocery shopping, I had a thought. Wouldn't it be nice if I could
donate my "free" turkey that I earned shopping directly to the Food
Bank of
I asked the cashier if there was any way that I could directly donate my turkey
saving me the hassle of bringing home my 15 lb. frozen turkey, storing it and
then delivering it to the Food Bank.
The cashier told me to speak to the office. In all of three seconds, they
scanned my price card, saw that I qualified for a free turkey and said that it would be donated. No pain, no sweat.
How many people don't donate their "free" earned turkeys because it
is simply too much trouble?
Just think of how many families in need would benefit if you just took a minute
and asked to donate your turkey directly to the local food bank. So if
you find that you have earned a "free" turkey that you don't need or
want, donate it.
Is there any way that the temple can publicize this?
Thanks,
Lori Ratner
UJF Super Sunday and Mitzvah Packages Sign Up
- Volunteer
Registration
- Sponsor
Hanukkah Mitzvah Package for Needy Seniors
- Super
Kids Mitzvah Project Sign Up
UJC LAUNCHES FEDERATION RELIEF FOR
United Jewish Communities/the
federations of North America today launched a relief effort for victims of the
Southern California wildfires, which continue to rage from
A Volunteer
Opportunity from
(thanks
to Susan Berger Sabreen for calling this to our attention)
"Doula Visitor Program -
The Palliative Care Service is currently recruiting volunteers for a special â doulaâ visitor program for patients nearing the end
of life. Doulas offer companionship and emotional support for people who are
within the last 18 months of life. Volunteers will receive an 8-week training
as well as ongoing support. This is a unique and meaningful opportunity for
people who would like to make a real difference in a person's life at an
important time of transition.
Contact: Ronit Fallek (718)
920-6576 or rfallek@montefiore.org <mailto:rfallek@montefiore.org "
Bar/Bat Mitzvah Projects:
From ~
Shira Durica, who will be
setting up a table during
With Hadassah, i am sponsoring JNF's (Jewish
National Fund) Program to plant trees in
From Dana Gordon
Dear Friends and
Family,
Part of becoming a
Bat Mitzvah means being a mench or doing good deeds for others in need.
Five years ago, I was diagnosed with Auto Immune Thrombocytopenia Purpura
(I.T.P). My body thinks my blood
platelets are the enemy and destroys them.
I’m extremely lucky because at Dr. Joe’s office I receive an intravenous
treatment to help my body maintain a safe number of blood platelets. Every time I receive an infusion
I see kids of all ages who aren’t as lucky as I am because many of them suffer
from pediatric blood cancers. At the end
of your each treatment, you get the joy of choosing a toy from the toy closet. I would like to be a part of that joy by
helping to restock the toy closet at the doctor’s office.
Please bring new
and unwrapped games and toys for donation and place them in the box that is labeled “Dana’s
Thank you very much
for your support and generosity.
Sincerely,
Dana Gordon
For more
information about I.T.P., visit the platelet disorder support
association at www.pdsa.org
From
The Jewish Ethicist - http://www.besr.org/ethicist/
Ethics
and the Workplace
THIS WEEK’S PORTION OF VAYETZE IS A PRIME SOURCE
FOR JEWISH ETHICS REGARDING THE WORKPLACE,
AS JACOB HAD TO DEAL WITH
THE DECEPTIVE WORK PRACTICES OF HIS BROTHER IN LAW LABAN.
THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS LED TO FASCINATING
DISCUSSION AT THIS WEEK’S Learning and Latte session…
Q. In
our workplace, shifting blame is commonplace. How can I defend myself without
being unfair to others?
A. While to err is human, no one wants to get left holding the bag -- especially if it may damage
chances for a raise or a promotion. In many workplaces, the result is that much
productive energy is spent trying to shift blame to co-workers or competing
departments, instead of trying to rectify the error.
Before we enter the topic of
shifting blame, we should recall that even blaming the person who is truly
responsible is a kind of negative speech and is only permitted under the
conditions we have mentioned in numerous columns: namely, that fingering the
wrongdoer is the only way to achieve some necessary benefit, and that the
information is transmitted accurately and will not cause the wrongdoer
excessive or unjustified harm.
One reason that even valid accusations are discouraged
in Jewish tradition is that once such accusations are
permitted and given credence, it opens the door for improper accusations
and a general atmosphere of competition and suspicion -- exactly the atmosphere
that you describe! More often that not, the best policy is to assume that the
person at fault was doing his or her best, and that no reaction is called for.
This response creates an atmosphere of trust and mutual support.
Naming a wrongdoer is not always improper. Sometimes a
supervisor must know how a certain individual performs. Even if a person was
doing his or her best, the employer may need to know that their best falls
short of expectations.
Still, we must be certain to fulfill all the
conditions: that we have definite knowledge of the situation we are relating,
and that the information will be used in a
constructive way. Finally, we must be certain that the reaction will not be
excessive. For example, you may decide that it is reasonable if the management
reacts to a minor error by providing the employee with needed guidance or by
withholding a bonus, but excessive and unjustified if the employee is dismissed or shamed.
It goes without saying that it
is completely unethical to shift blame to someone else. The main ethical
question remaining is how far a person can go in defending himself.
Rav Yisrael Meir HaCohen of Radin, author of the
authoritative book on slander, "Chafetz Chaim", writes that it is
permissible for a person to deny responsibility for wrongdoing even if by doing
so he implicates someone else. For example, if the only two individuals who
could have done something are you and a co-worker, and you are accused, you may
state that you are not responsible, even though you are implicitly attributing
responsibility to your co-worker. This is so even in cases where you are not permitted to explicitly state who is behind the act.
If the problem was just due to bad luck and not to
negligence or incompetence, the most ethical course of action is to accept the
blame passively and not to implicate your co-worker who is after all not at
fault.
The best solution to workplace incrimination is to
create ethical policies in the first place. If management:
- Always adopts a measured and proportional response to problems;
- Gives people the benefit of the reasonable doubt;
- Always gives an accused person the opportunity to give his side of
the story.
Then workers will be much more inclined to admit to
wrongdoing, much less inclined to shift blame, and the workplace will be a more
pleasant and efficient place. In short, the best policy is "Fix the
problem, not the blame."
Q. My hours of work at my law firm seem to be
endless. How much work is too much, leaving too little time for spiritual
pursuits?
A. The need for a fair and
transparent work hour policy was evident already in the time of the sages of
the mishnah, 2,000 years ago. The mishnah in
tractate Bava Metzia states: "One who hires workers and told them to
arrive early or stay late, if it is a place where it is not customary to arrive
early or stay late, he cannot compel them." (1)
What then is a "standard" work day in a
place where there is no custom to extend it? The Talmud tells us that it begins
at daybreak, and continues until some time before nightfall, in order to allow
the workers to arrive home before dark. (On Shabbat eve
the worker needs time to make minimal Shabbat preparations before sundown, so
he must leave earlier.) (2)
It's clear that this is quite a long workday nearly 12
hours on average. Certainly this is not customary
today, though in some professions, including yours, 70 hour work weeks are not
too unusual. On the other hand, it is a workday that
is clearly delineated. While the worker is admonished to be prompt and hard
working, his obligations are clearly defined, and the employer is not allowed
to exceed them to compel the worker to work longer if custom or agreement
doesn't stipulate this.
It is this aspect that is most often a problem today. Average work hours are
much less than in the time of the mishnah, but
probably more workers today find that their workday seems to be
"endless," as you state, because they feel that they are on call even
when the workday is done. Many workplaces don't provide any clear guidelines
for fair working hours for professionals and managers; some have this problem
for shift workers as well.
The Shulchan Arukh (authoritative Code of Jewish law)
states: "After you leave the synagogue [following morning prayers], go to
the house of study, and establish a time for learning. And this time must be
fixed, not to be missed even if there is an opportunity to earn much". In
the next chapter, it tells us that a person should then go to work, but must
remember that work is of secondary importance to Torah. (3)
This is the same Shulchan Arukh which later on tells
us the standard workday of the mishnah. (4) We see
that making work of secondary importance to Torah doesn't require us to devote
many hours to activities which are devoted solely to
God's service, like prayer and Torah study. But it does require a commitment,
having certain times that are sacrosanct and to which workday concerns cannot
intrude.
Of course the main refuge we
have from our work lives is the Shabbat. But even on weekdays, which are
appropriately devoted to work and livelihood, we need certain times free from
the burden of employment.
The ideal working situation is one that leaves ample
time for other aspects of life: family life, helping others, prayer and study,
social life, and constructive recreation. But everyone has to make a living,
and it is a fact of life that some kinds of work
require long hours on the job. In these cases, the most important thing is to
ensure that the obligations of the worker are as clearly
defined as possible. A workday with no clear end is exploitative to the
worker, and often backfires as workers engage in unproductive competition to
put in hours without productivity as well as "undertime" activities
meant to camouflage leisure or errands as work.
We wrote in a previous column that
keeping a worker later than necessary turns often into gratuitous "busy
work", which Jewish law forbids as a kind of unseemly domination of the
employee.
The ideal working situation is a job
which in itself contributes to mankind, and also leaves adequate time
for other dimensions of God's service, religious and otherwise. But even those
whose livelihood requires a long work day can keep their personal commitments,
as long as their work obligations are clearly defined and make their
non-working hours truly their own.
SOURCES: (1) Mishnah Bava Metzia 7:1. (2) Babylonian Talmud Bava Metzia 83b. (3)
Shulchan Arukh Orach Chaim 155 and 156. (4) Shulchan Arukh Choshen
Mishpat 331:1
A Zillion Hanukkah
Links
Guaranteed
to Last for Eight Nights (and then some)!
Nice articles on the spirituality of lighting the candles: http://www.jewishealing.com/ and http://www.rebgoldie.com/Candlelighting.htm
Listen to (and watch, via streaming video))
CLAL Holy Days: Hanukah By
Joseph Telushkin
This Ritual Life CLAL Faculty on Rededicating
Your Home at Hanukah
Links and lots of material: http://www.uahc.org/va/bnai_shalom/hanukkah/hanukkah.html
Educator Cherie Kohler Fox's eight ways to celebrate
Hanukkah meaningfully:
http://www.jewishfamily.com/jc_a.php?text=http://www.jewishfamily.com/jc/holidays/hanukkah/meaningful_hannukah.txt
Chanukah educational links, coloring books, songs, etc http://www.j.co.il
Hanukkah @ JTS http://learn.jtsa.edu/hanukkah/
Virtual
613.org: Real Audio (blessings,
classes, songs) http://www.613.org/chanuka.html
Chanukah Fun & Coloring Book (Torah Tots) http://www.torahtots.com/holidays/chanuka/chanuk.htm
Kidskourt Hanukkah Coloring Pages http://www.kidskourt.com/Holidays/HanColor.htm
Kid's Domain Chanukah Coloring Pages