December 21 and 28, 2007-
Tevet 12 and 19, 5768
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Contents
of the Shabbat O Gram:
(Click
to scroll down)
The (Occasionally) Ranting Rabbi Month-Long Chanukah Offers Second Chances
Mitzvah/Tzedakkah Opportunities
Ask the Rabbi Dealing
with Pet Loss
The Beth El Bar/Bat
Mitzvah Commentary Dana Gordon on Vayigash
Required Reading and Action Items (links
to key articles on Israel and Jewish life)
Quote for the Week
““The status quo proves the most
illusory of goals”
- David Reisman, sociologist,
“The Lonely Crowd” (1961)
Candle lighting: 4:12 pm on Friday,
December 21, 2007 and 4:16 on 12/28. For Havdalah times, other
Jewish calendar information, and to download a Jewish calendar to your PDA,
click on http://www.hebcal.com/. To see the festivals of other faiths as well,
go to http://www.interfaithcalendar.org/. The United Synagogue has updated its candlelighting information. To learn more, click here.
THE FULL SERVICE SCHEDULE NOW APPEARS ON THE
SEPARATE TBE ANNOUNCEMENTS E-MAIL
Shabbat Services: 6:30 Friday night in the
chapel,
Tot Shabbat – this Friday, Dec. 19, AT 6:45
pm.
WE THANK OUR
TOT SHABBAT HOSTS THIS WEEK, CHERYL BADER GOLDBLUM AND STEPHEN GOLDBLUM, IN
HONOR OF EVAN’S BIRTHDAY!
On
Friday evening, Nurit will lead Tot Shabbat services with singing and stories
and Evan will lead the Torah procession. We will also have delicious challah, cookies, and juice.
9:30 Shabbat morning
(Nurit’s Tot Shabbat Morning at 10:30), both weeks. This week we wish Mazal Tov to Mel Bloomenthal, who will be celebrating a special Bar Mitzvah
Anniversary and chanting the Haftarah.
This Shabbat’s
D’var Torah will be given by Rabbinic Pastor David Daniel Klipper
Morning Minyan:
7:30 Weekdays, 9:30 Sundays
TO ENSURE A “GUARANTEED MINYAN” FOR THE DAY OF
YOUR YAHRZEIT – GO TO THE ROSNER MINYAN MAKER AT WWW.TBE.ORG
AND THEN NOTIFY OUR OFFICE.
WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT, ESPECIALLY DURING
VACATION WEEKS, WHEN MANY ARE OUT OF TOWN!!!
Reminder
of our “No School No Shul” policy: On days when Stamford
Torah
Reading For Shabbat Morning
Parashat Vayechi (The story of Joseph concludes)
Genesis 47:28 - 50:26
1: 47:28-31
2: 48:1-3
3: 48:4-9
4: 48:10-13
5: 48:14-16
6: 48:17-19
7: 48:20-22
maf: 48:20-22
Haftarah I Kings
2:1 - 2:12
My column in this
week’s Jewish Week: http://www.thejewishweek.com/viewArticle/c55_a1445/Editorial__Opinion/Opinion.html#
Month-Long Chanukah Offers Second Chances
by
Special
To The Jewish Week
I love it when Chanukah falls in early December. Long after the
last candle has melted and the potato graters have been stashed away, the
holiday refuses to disappear. Store clerks still seal the deal with a cheerful
“Happy Chanukah,” menorahs still glisten at the mall, and school assemblies
still sing “Dreidel.” In a year like this, Chanukah
becomes a Jewish version of the holiday in the film “Groundhog Day,” recurring
incessantly until, at last, as the calendar turns, the torch is passed to Tu b’Shvat.
Yes, I know that this miraculous, endless Chanukah has more to do with that
Other December Holiday than with that fabled jug of inexhaustible oil. So why
do I think that’s a good thing? Because, as the holiday extends through weeks
three and four, outlasting even that stale latke smell embedded in every nook
of the kitchen, it reminds us that Judaism places a premium on second
chances.
A close friend will be returning in a few days from several months of military
service in
Judaism is filled with mulligans, which, unlike in golf, are perfectly legal.
It’s not merely about second chance celebrations; it’s about having second
chances at almost everything. The sages differentiated between transgressions
committed intentionally and those committed by innocent error. The accidental
sinner (“shogeg,”) is often given a halachic do-over, or at least the consequences of his
actions are made far less severe, even for the most extreme of crimes.
It has become increasingly important to promote second chances, because our
world has become so unforgiving. Ours has become a “gotcha” society, where
every miscue is instantly immortalized on TV and in cyberspace. The
political campaign now under way will be the most closely scrutinized ever,
where thousands of bloggers, many unfettered by standards of journalistic
ethics, will document each candidate’s every sniffle. There will be no margin
of error. Think we’ve seen ruthlessness before? We’re about to enter an
era where Swift Boats and Willie Horton will seem quaint.
In our unrelenting world, there is no place to hide, no benefit of
the doubt and no room for the “shogeg.” All errors are immortalized digitally and
scrutinized incessantly. Notice that every DVD now includes out-takes,
which, in many cases have become as popular as the movie. In life, there no
longer is a “take two,” and the words “unedited and uncut” have taken on a
sacred aura. We can’t even be forgiven for our bloopers.
As American Jews have wandered farther from their traditional
roots, even grandparents now often struggle to remember the Torah blessings and
associated rituals. Rarely, now, do people get it right the first time around.
We rabbis all have our favorite bar mitzvah bloopers. Like the time when
a befuddled relative was dressing the Torah and was handed the silver
breastplate along with the simple instruction, “Put it on.”
Which is exactly what she did.
My favorite shul blooper, related by a colleague, involves a
student reciting the blessing over cookies, the one that usually concludes, “borei minei mezonot;” only this
child said, “borei
pri zonot,” thereby
thanking God for the fruits of the world’s oldest profession.
Everyone makes mistakes. But at a time when the Jewish future
requires that we try to nurture people into feeling comfortable on the bima,
our “gotcha” culture feeds into their trepidation. No one wants to be
humiliated, especially when the error will be seen live by hundreds of
relatives, enshrined forever on the video and then maybe uploaded for millions
to view on the Web (A recent search found 1,310 bar mitzvah and 809 bat mitzvah
videos posted on YouTube.) “Trial and error” now means that if you make an
error, you’ll face the most public of trials — with no second chance.
Judaism values highly the art of constructive correction.
Leviticus implores us to rebuke our neighbor. Later authorities went to great
lengths to demonstrate how this reproof must be delivered sensitively and
privately to avoid humiliation.
Rabbis should be especially sensitive in this area, because so
many see us as being “holier than thou,” even when we try desperately not to
be. Rabbis are also prime victims of this “gotcha” culture. The high standards
we are trying to set are the very same standards by which we are judged, so our
mistakes are amplified. At life cycle events, the stakes are especially high;
sometimes there can be no do-overs.
But for Chanukah there can be, so let’s keep on spinning that dreidel from here ‘til the ball drops, if that’s what it
takes. Let’s keep the light shining all month — until we get it right.
Joshua Hammerman is spiritual leader of Temple Beth El in
Stamford, Conn.
Yitz and Blu Greenberg Peer Across the Denominational Divide
Two
decades ago, Rabbi Yitz Greenberg first sounded the ominous warning that the
Jewish people would soon be irreparably divided on personal status issues. In other words, because of questions
regarding “who is a Jew,” large groups of Jews would not be considered Jews by
other large groups of Jews. Those
warnings have proven to be prophetic.
In
this advice (Bintel Brief) column from last week’s Forward,
Yitz and his wife Blu discuss a question where a
newly Orthodox Jew is concerned that his non Orthodox conversion will render
him non Jewish in the eyes of his fellow congregants. So should he come clean and let them know
about this should he be counted as the tenth in a minyan.
Sound
farfetched? This is the Jewish world we
live now in. Yitz and Blu call it “one of the great tragedies of Jewish
life.” Check out the Greenbergs’
sensitive response at http://www.forward.com/blogs/bintel-blog/12103/,
and let me know if you agree.
8 Ways to
Increase Hope (from
Beliefnet)
You see, hope
is actually something we create. It's not something that magically appears
from an outside source. We each have within us the capacity to generate
hope. Read
more... · "Hope
is a Choice" · How
Optimism is Good for You
Mitzvah/Tzedakkah Opportunties
Beth El Cares:
Inreach and Outreach
2007 CHRISTMAS EVE DINNER AT ST. LUKE’S
AND PACIFIC HOUSE
THANK YOU TO THE FOLLOWING FAMILIES WHO WILL BE HELPING
US AT THE SHELTERS THIS COMING WEEK:
St. Lukes: the Vaisbens, Freunds, Listokins and Stones
Pacific House: The Wolffs, Fruithandlers, Nekritzes, Miles
and Finkelsteins
This year, Beth El Cares will be continuing a long
standing tradition of serving dinner at
St. Luke’s and Pacific
House on Christmas Eve.
To make these dinners a success we need volunteers to
sign up to donate:
Cranberry Sauce (cans or homemade)
Mashed Potatoes
Sweet Potato Casseroles
Tossed Salad with Dressing on the Side
Cooked Vegetables
Fresh Fruit
Dessert
Rolls and Butter
Breads (Banana, Cranberry)
Soda, Coffee, Tea, Sugar, Artificial Sweetener and Milk
Paper Goods (plates, silverware, hot and cold cups, and
napkins)
Thank you to Rosemarie Licari
of Court Square Café who has generously agreed to provide most of the turkeys,
stuffing and gravy,
and to Suzanne
Horn Stone who is also preparing a turkey.
If it’s easier for you, make a Monetary Contribution
towards the above items and we’ll do the shopping.
Make your checks payable to
Please send your
checks to the office by Thursday, December 20.
PLEASE BRING YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE
Temple Ahavat Achim in Gloucester, MA where burned to the ground
over the weekend. There was a fire in an
adjacent apartment building that killed one person. If you would like to help, see the temple
website, http://www.taagloucester.org. Gloucester is a very special place to so
many, including my own family. Our
thoughts are with the synagogue.
BE PART OF
ANOTHER COMMUNITY FIRST AT
BETH EL
REMEMBERS
L’dor vador
… past, present and future
Our past has done so much to make us who we are as Temple Beth El
… yet we know so
little about TBE’s and individual congregants’ past glories within the
Our future will no doubt be very bright, with many of us involved
… yet, will our grandchildren and their grandchildren even know what we’ve done … or how to further our work for the benefit of themselves, the congregation in their time and the community?
The Temple’s Trustees have authorized a new committee to solve these challenges and exploit new opportunities, and appointed a part president to chair it (Fred Golove) We are currently the only congregation in the community that has formalized a standing committee to REMEMBER, with a mission to help its congregation strategically. .
And YOU can be involved … listen, enjoy and/or work!!!
BETH EL REMEMBERS (our historical preservation and dissemination committee) has been formed and will hold its kickoff meeting on Wednesday night, January 9, 2008, from 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. The meeting will be held in downtown Stamford at the local Jewish Archives, an operation of the Jewish Historical Society of Lower Fairfield County, where we will be joined by the JHS’s Archivist and its world class Historian. The JHS Archives has a large TBE Collection and we will spend some fun time looking through and understanding it. We will then start into our major business of planning the Committee’s work.
All interested adults including teenagers who are b’nai
mitzvah are invited to this meeting. Space for this first meeting is limited
because of the ample but somewhat limited meeting facilities at the Archives.
Please call Steve Landers at the
TBE’s Own Doug Jossem - “Team in Training”
Friends
and Family,
In
September of 1995 my mother sat me down to discuss a decision that she had to
make. She had been thinking for days of what to say and how to say
it. She looked me in my eyes and said that the doctors have given her a
year to live and that she had 2 options: She could live out the year with the
inevitable outcome, or she could try an experimental drug that might get rid of
the cancer/leukemia--but if the drug didn’t work, she could potentially die
within a month. As she was explaining these options to me, and before I
could even speak, she said she wanted to try the experimental treatment so she
could have the chance to live and see me grow up. Unfortunately she
passed away one month later and her 5 year struggle ended. We were both too
young!
This
is a decision that no parent should have to make and that no
child/sibling/relative/friend should ever have to face. Because of this,
I’m an active member of Team in Training, a group that works diligently with
the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society to cure blood cancers. Team
in Training also operates in conjunction with other cancer
organizations to facilitate research and to coordinate studies.
The
group trains individuals like me for endurance events such as marathons,
century bike rides and triathlons. $.75 of every dollar I raise up to
$4,600 goes to the Leukemia and Lymphoma society, and the remaining $.25 goes
to the organization for training and maintenance. After the $4,600 is
reached 100% of every dollar I raise goes directly toward saving lives.
Since
I’m not a doctor, I felt very helpless in fighting this disease, but this
organization has given me strength and hope that we can all do something to
beat it. I have now completed 2 triathlons with Team in Training, and we
have helped save many lives.
I know that most of you can’t
imagine me as a triathlete, but on April 27th 2008 I
will partake in my 3rd triathlon. This event consists of a 1
mile swim, 26 mile bike ride, and a 6 mile run. It’s an extremely
difficult undertaking, and I train the entire winter for this and for this
cause.
I am
asking for your help to sponsor me and support the efforts of these
organizations. All donations are 100% tax deductible–even more incentive
to submit before the end of the year. To make a donation (it’s quick and
easy), please click this link: www.active.com/donate/tntnyc/tntnycDJossem1
I wrote this comment a few
years ago and I still stand by it today. It explains exactly why I’m so
passionate about this:
My
mother never saw me graduate from high school, never saw me on my first day of
college, she will never see me get married or see any grandchildren. I am
doing this because I don't want anyone else to miss out on all the joy that
life has to offer. This is a terrible disease, one that I hope I can help
end.
I hope I can inspire you all
to take action and participate in supporting this cause. Thank you all for your
help and support, it means the world to me.
Doug
Jossem
Doug
Jossem
Apt
6F
201-686-5707
Bar/Bat Mitzvah Projects:
Keep watching for projects to appear in this space….
How Do I Deal
With the Loss of a Pet?
People often ask me about how to deal with pet loss. Just this week, a congregant approached me in
great distress over the sudden passing of his 13 year old dog, who had appeared
in good health one day and was gone the next.
As an animal lover who has dealt with similar situations, I can
understand the awkwardness of this situation.
When a pet dies, we feel profound sadness, in many cases equal to the
sadness we feel at the passing of a close relative. Yet religion and society often downplay that
loss. We feel almost an embarrassment because
of that. When children are involved, it
becomes doubly complicated, because for them, the loss of a beloved pet is
often their first experience of death, yet there is little in our tradition to
comfort them. Saying Kaddish seems
misplaced and awkward, and while Judaism reveres all animal life (hence the
laws of Kashrut), the sanctity of human life is unparalleled.
While there are
no official mourning practices for the loss of a pet, some creative
alternatives have sprung up in recent years.
I recommend highly the following two selections, the first from Naomi
Levy’s book, “Talking to God,” and the second from CLAL’s
collection, “The Book of Jewish Sacred Practices: CLAL’s
Guide to Everyday and Holiday Rituals and Blessings.”
(Here also is a link to some Pet Loss Grief Counseling Hotlines: http://www.drsfostersmith.com/pic/article.cfm?&acatid=474&aid=1092)
Naomi Levy
speaks of the kind of relationship that Martin Buber had with his horse, which
led him to his theories of “I-Thou” relationships. When I pet
1) from “Talking to God”
Losing a Pet
A dying man once told me
he hoped he would be reunited with his dog in heaven. He said it just wouldn’t be heaven without
his dog.
Martin Buber, the great
religious philosopher, said all relationships fall into one of two
categories: 1-it, or 1-Thou. A 1-it relationship is when we treat others
as things, when we value them for their utility. A 1-Thou relationship is when we truly
experience others and embrace them in all their magnificence. When we achieve this profound contact with
another, we get a glimpse of God. Buber
insisted that we have the capacity to greet all of nature as a Thou. One of Buber’s
earliest 1-Thou encounters was with a horse.
When he was a child, Buber would regularly steal away to feed a certain
dapple-grey horse. As he stroked its
neck and glorious mane, an overwhelming sense of connection flowed between the
boy and the horse. The horse was no
longer a stranger, or an other; it had become a Thou.
Many of us have formed
deep and powerful bonds with animals who have become true and faithful
companions. Losing a pet is not the same
as losing a person, but we do need to take the time to mourn our loss.
A Prayer When a Beloved Pet Dies
You were my good friend. We
never had a single conversation, but we understood each other. I till keep thinking you’ll be there waiting
for me when I open the door. The house
is empty without you. I miss you more
than others could ever understand.
I thank you for being my
companion in times of joy, and my comfort in times of pain. I was fortunate to have you in my life and I
know your life with me was a happy one.
I will remember you with
joy and a smile. May God bless you. Amen.
Saying Good-Bye to a Beloved Pet
When we must say good-bye
to a beloved pet, the loss feels so painful.
Although we know that losing a pet is not the same as losing a human
being, it is still a real loss, and we need to mourn. Finding a loving way to say good-bye to a pet
is a sensitive way to reaffirm the infinite value of life and of love.
2) from CLAL
Meditation
You blessed our days with
love and companionship. We will never
forget you.
Ritual
Find an appropriate place
to bury the pet – in the yard, in the countryside, or in a place set aside for
burying animals. If the pet is small,
find an appropriately sized box and place it inside. Find a stone or make a marker for the place
where your pet will be buried. As the
burial takes place, anyone who wishes can tell stories and share special
memories of the pet.
If it is not practical for
you to bury your pet, you can still set aside a time for telling stories and
sharing memories. You might want to do
this at a particular place, inside or out, that your pet loved best.
Blessing
(After you have told your
stories and shared your memories)
Blessed are You in whose
world nothing is lacking; it is filled with wonderful animals that bring joy
and companionship to human beings.
Teaching
And God made all kinds of
animals, wild beasts and animals of every kind, and all kinds of crawling
animals that are on the earth. And God
saw that this was good.
(Genesis 1:25)
But God paid attention to
Noah and all the living things, all the animals that were with them in the ark,
and God brought a wind across the earth, and the waters abated.
(Genesis 8:1)
Even the sparrow has found
a home, and the swallow a nest for herself in which to set her young near Your
altar, O Lord…
(Psalms 84:4)
What’s On JewTube?
Check out some of the latest hits on JewTube:
Boycott
Israel?
It's fashionable among many on the left to boycott Israel, but have any of these
"enlightened" people considered how difficult a true boycott of
Israel and Jews really is?
Tribe: the Film
An unauthorized unorthodox history of the Jewish people and the Barbie doll in
about 15 minutes. Enjoy the preview. The film is now available on iTunes! (We showed
it here last year at Selichot)
Natalie
Portman Speaks of Her Love of Israel
The
Rabbi
THE RABBI- A new comedy film by Daniel D Moses- "Jonny
is a compulsive liar, he has been all his life. But
when he exploits the mistaken identity of a Rabbi, will one lie too far be his
last?" Written by Sam Holtmon & Daniel D
Moses :: Starring Simon Pinkus :: Directed by Daniel
D Moses More info at "The Rabbi" Film website at
http://www.danielmoses.com/therabbifilm &
http://www.myspace.com/therabbifilm
Is
the Exodus story true?
Rabbi Jonathan Ginsburg
"Perfected"
- The Ann Coulter Song by Leah Kaufmann
OneVoice:
One Million Voices to End the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict
To be
Jewish (Israeli TV)
The Beth El
Bar/Bat Mitzvah Commentary
Dana Gordon on Vayigash
Those of you who know me know that music
is a big part of my life. Those who
don’t know that probably figured that out as I sung my haftarah. So you can imagine how excited I was when, as
I was studying my portion, I came across a character who not only was very
musical, but also was one of the most important woman in Jewish history.
What’s even more fascinating is that you’ve
probably never heard of her. So let me
introduce you to Serach, not Abraham’s wife Sarah, but Serach.
In my portion, we read the names of all
the people in Jacob’s family as they went down to
The name Serach appears a few other
times in the Bible and tradition has it that it’s the same person, and that
Serach was the only one to survive from the time when Jacob’s family went down
to Egypt to the time, hundreds of years later, when the Israelites left.
What are some of the lessons that we
learn from Serach?
-
First of all, the most obvious thing we learn is that women are more sensitive
than men. J
-It
goes without saying that that means that I am more sensitive than my brother!!
-Maybe
women are more sensitive because we are often outnumbered, like Serach.
-We
can learn how music can move people’s hearts more than words, well most of the
time.